Time away seems to bring into focus what was a blur. I
become completely caught up in the hustle, bustle, and minutia of work and
life. Those concerns need attention and are each important; however, they don’t
require loss of breath and anxiousness which is just how I react when I take
myself much too seriously. Time spent feeling in a rivers flow washes away the
crap that I carry.
Friday I was late arriving for a planned trip on the
Hiawassee River because I did not pay attention to where I was driving and
missed a turn. My mind was on work thinking of “things done and left undone.” I
had a wad of the bread of anxiety stuck in my throat. My hand was shaking when
I signed the waver form, my signature illegible. Finally hurling my boat in the
river and paddling frantically, it was really no surprise—although I was—that I
swam forcing my way through an area requiring finesse and patients. And the evening did not go any better because,
tired from battle with the river, I could not control a minor situation.
Cussing and fighting I finally made it to a quite place and made plans for the
following Saturday on the river.
The Saturday trip started on a peacefully and, as trite as
it seems, I was centered, not forcing like than the day before. I had a great
run and stayed in my boat—I was able to breathe.
By Sunday, I was relaxed and on a roll—another great dry
trip on the river. I let all the crap I could turn loose of go continue
downstream of the take-out.